You Make A Difference!

                                                                   

                                                                        

Little random acts of kindness, gratitude and appreciation. 

Yes, you can make a difference!

(Audio in English with subtitles in Chinese)

More about Og Mandino here.

Thanks to AW for this one! 

Saying 'Thank You' Does Make a Difference

                                                                       

Most of us were taught that saying “thank you” is simply the polite thing to do. But recent research in social psychology suggests that saying “thank you” goes beyond good manners – it also serves to build and maintain social relationships.
This premise has its base in the find-remind-and-bind theory of gratitude, proposed by US psychologist Sara Algoe, from the University of North Carolina. According to this theory, gratitude prompts:

• the initiation of new social relationships (a find function)
• orients people to existing social relationships (a remind function)
• promotes maintenance of and investment in these relationships (a bind function)

As with all emotions, gratitude can be both felt and expressed. The evidence on how feeling gratitude functions to find, remind, and bind in social relationships is robust. From promoting helping and trust to lowering aggression, feeling grateful gives rise to a wide range of outcomes that benefit both parties in a social relationship.
Turning to expressing gratitude, the existing work is relatively sparse. The evidence that does exist largely focuses on ongoing social relationships, such as those between romantic partners.

When we say ‘thank you’

It only takes a moment of reflection to realise that expressions of gratitude are not solely relegated to such ongoing social relationships.

When a stranger holds a door, when a barista hands over the morning espresso or when we step off the bus, we typically (or should!) say “thank you”.

The question becomes: how do these expressions of gratitude among strangers shape social relations? Might hearing “thank you” help us “find” new social relationships?

So my colleague Monica Y Bartlett, from Gonzaga University in Washington, US, and I carried out the first empirical test of the “find” function of expressing gratitude among strangers, with the results published this month in the journal Emotion.

In the study, we sought to create a situation in the lab where we could manipulate the expression of gratitude in a realistic way. So we asked our 70 undergraduate participants to help pilot a new mentoring program supposedly run by the university.

As part of the pilot, all of our participants were to act as mentors by giving advice on a writing sample from a high-school student mentee. The writing sample was one that the mentee planned to use in their university admissions package.

This setup ensured that we satisfied one of the core starting points of gratitude – the granting of help, resources or a favour.

A week later, we brought the participants back to the lab. All participants received a note purportedly written by the high school mentee. For half of the participants – those in the control condition - this note simply acknowledged the advice.

I received your feedback through the editing program. I hope to use the paper for my college applications.

Here comes the manipulation of gratitude expression. Critically, for the other half of the participants, the note also included an expression of gratitude.

Thank you SO much for all the time and effort you put into doing that for me!

This design meant that all participants received a note – just the content of the note differed across conditions.

Participants next completed a series of questionnaires assessing their impressions of the mentee, and then were informed that the study was complete.

Except, that wasn’t quite true. The researcher casually mentioned that the pilot program organisers had left a set of notecards for mentors to complete if they chose to. The program organisers would ensure that the mentee received the note if the mentee were accepted to the university.

The researcher made it clear that leaving a note was completely optional and then left the room. Participants were thus left alone to decide whether to write a note, and, if so, what to say.
This note-writing opportunity served as our dependent measure of actual social affiliation. Would participants take the opportunity to establish a social relationship with their mentee? Would this depend on whether the mentee had expressed gratitude?

How far does gratitude go?

Perhaps not surprisingly, all but three participants wrote a welcome note (university students are, after all, a pretty kind bunch). Promisingly for the “find” hypothesis, all three participants who didn’t leave a note were in the control condition.

To test the “find” hypothesis more directly, we coded what participants wrote in those notes and a pattern quickly became clear.

Of the participants who had received a note expressing gratitude from their mentee, 68% left their contact details in their note. Only 42% of those who had received the control note left any contact details. The difference was statistically significant.

Next we tested what might explain this difference. For this, we looked to how participants rated their mentees. Specifically, we considered two dimensions – interpersonal warmth (kindness and friendliness) and competence (skill and intelligence).

We reasoned that if gratitude expressions function to service social relationships, the effect should be better explained by warmth than by competence.

Sure enough, mentees were perceived as more interpersonally warm when they had expressed gratitude. Further, this increase in perceived interpersonal warmth explained the increase in likelihood of leaving contact information for the gratitude-expressing mentees. This wasn’t the case for competence.

The takeaway message

Saying “thank you” goes beyond good manners. At the end of the day, initiating a social bond can be risky. We need to be selective and choose to invest in those bonds with the highest likelihood of being a good investment. In this context, an expression of gratitude serves as a signal that the expresser is a good candidate for a future social relationship.

Expanding the premise a bit further, perhaps the gratitude challenges that have swept social media (in their 7, 10, 21, 100, or 365 day forms) might have downstream benefit.

By Lisa A Williams

With thanks to Live Science

Andrew Jobling: Be Grateful - Be Free ... A Whale's Story

                                                                 

This is an amazing story! And it is always so important  to express gratitude and appreciation.

As I was sitting and thinking about what I would write this week, my beautiful wife Laura came to the rescue. I was concentrating and intently focused on trying to come up with an idea when she said, ‘you have to watch this.’ 

To be honest I was a bit annoyed because, I thought, I am trying to concentrate and have no time to watch things now. I didn’t say it!! I have learned that lesson the hard way!!

So I bit-my-tongue, sat back and watched a beautiful four minute video that not only bought tears to my eyes but inspired this weeks blog ... thanks Laura, I am very grateful!

A man and some friends were cruising the waters of the Sea of Cortez, off the coast of Mexico, in their small dingy. They came across a small humpback whale just floating in the still waters ... it seemed to be dead. There were no signs of life until the whale forcefully exhaled.

The man put on his goggles & snorkel, got in the water and soon discovered that the whale was tightly entangled in a fisherman's net. The situation was not good as the whale was wrapped up so tightly in the netting. The tail was weighed down almost 15 feet (5 metres), the dorsal fin was stuck and the pectoral fins were pinned to the whales body. It could not move and surely could not survive for much longer.

The people on the boat called for help, but were told it would be at least an hour before anyone could get there ...  possibly too late.  If the whale was to survive they would have to take matters into their own hands! The man in the water was able to release the dorsal fin, but there was so much netting and the task seemed too great.

But that did not stop this courageous and focused group from doing everything they could. They dragged the netting & the whale towards the boat and started cutting as fast as they could ... it was a seemingly impossible task.

They had only one small knife but did the best they could. Soon they had released one of the pectoral fins. At this point the massive whale could have easily destroyed the boat and killed those on board … it had every right to be angry and lash out. But, it seemed to know they were there to help. Finally after more than an hour of back breaking work the whale was finally free to swim away.

She slowly swam away from the boat and at about 500 feet (150m) she breached high into the air. Five exhausted but exhilarated people started heading home with a boat full of nylon fishing net that they had removed from the whale. What happened next was amazing & heart-warming … for the next hour the whale provided the most spectacular show of breaches, dives and jumps. It was a display of total gratitude and thanks to the people who had saved her.

The whale could easily have been resentful, angry and destroyed those people, but she trusted that they would do the right thing … it saved her life. The whale was free and the pure joy & gratitude she showed through this display will warm your heart and bring a tear to your eye.


Gratitude will set you free!
There are many lessons and wonderful take-aways from this story. The connection between animals & humans, the power of trust and the joy of helping others … just to name a few.

The thing, however, that stood out so strongly for me was the incredible gratitude & appreciation the whale showed those people who saved her.

Think about it … humans trapped her and left her to die in the first place. It would be understandable for the whale to be angry, resentful and want to take revenge on people. Yet, instead of holding anger & resentment, she was grateful they helped her escape. Her gratitude set her free. The same will happen for you …

You can be bound & held hostage by the things you don’t like & don’t want … or you can be grateful for the wonderful things you have. Which is better?

There are people who resent the fact that they feel controlled by circumstances … they blame, complain and will stay exactly where they are … trapped!

There are other people, with the same circumstances, who are grateful that they aren’t bound by those circumstances. They are excited that there are people who can help them break free, take control and determine the outcomes they get in life!
You, just like the whale … through gratitude, can be free to live an amazing life of joy & abundance!

With many thanks to Andrew Jobling.

Thanks to GR for sending me this.

More information from You Tube:

Please check out http://www.eii.org/gwc/ for more great information on Great Whale Conservancy

Be sure to see our full story on this awesome rescue here
http://wakeup-world.com/2011/07/17/wh...


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Related: 
Whale-watching in Australia

Why do whales breach?

Gratitude: Louie Schwartzberg at TED

                                                                   

                                                                          

There’s nothing quite like the ability to express  gratitude and appreciation!

The images in this clip are stunning! The sentiments all too true!

Angie Aker from Upworthy:

“An old man and a little kidling are gonna show you how to fall in love with your own life.

At around 0:40, you can see the photographer doing something naked. It's not totally relevant, but it's nakedness, so bonus.
At 3:45, a little girl drops some knowledge that you just can't believe such a little person would have.
At about 4:50, a man I wish would be my honorary grandfather starts really putting things in perspective for me.”

From You Tube:

Louie Schwartzberg is an award-winning cinematographer, director, and producer whose notable career spans more than three decades providing breathtaking imagery for feature films, television shows, documentaries and commercials.

This piece includes his short film on Gratitude and Happiness. Brother David Steindl-Rast's spoken words, Gary Malkin's musical compositions and Louie's cinematography make this a stunningly beautiful piece, reminding us of the precious gift of life, and the beauty all around us.
                                                                    

As a visual artist, Louie has created some of the most iconic and memorable film moments of our time. He is an innovator in the world of time-lapse, nature, aerial and "slice-of-life" photography - the only cinematographer in the world who has literally been shooting 24 hours a day, 7 days a week continuously for more than 30 years.

Louie was recognized as one of the top 70 Cinematographers for the On Film Kodak Salute Series. He is a member of the Directors Guild of America and the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences.

Louie is credited by many with pioneering the contemporary stock footage industry by founding Energy Film Library, a global company with a network of 12 foreign offices, which was acquired by Getty Images in 1997. Motion picture clients of his cinematic artistry include Sex in the City, The Bourne Ultimatum, Die Hard 4, Syriana, Crash, Men in Black and classics such as American Beauty, Koyaanisqatsi and E.T. among others.

Louie went on to found BlackLight Films, a creative production company specializing in producing original theatrical feature, large format films, HD and TV programming.
                                                                 

In 2004, BlackLight Films completed production of the theatrical feature film, America's Heart &Soul, distributed theatrically by Walt Disney Pictures. In 2006, BlackLight Films completed a series of HD shorts, Louie Films, for the launch of Buena Vista Home Entertainment's Blu-Ray DVD releases. In 2007, the company produced a 1-hour special, Chasing the Light, which aired nationally on PBS.

Past projects include the 35mm film Seasons of the Vine for Disney's California Adventure Theme Park and a 26-half hour series, America!, for The Hallmark Channel.

Louie has won two Clio Awards for Best Environmental Broadcast Spot, an Emmy nomination for Best Cinematography for the Discovery Channel Special, Oceans of Air, and the Heartland Film Festival's Truly Moving Picture Award for Walt Disney Pictures' feature film release America's Heart & Soul.
                                                                      

Louie completed production on a feature length nature documentary, Wings of Life, to be theatrically released worldwide, under Walt Disney Pictures' new production banner, Disneynature. The film was released in France (March 2011) under the title Pollen and won the Roscar Award for Best Cinematography at the 2011 Wild Talk Africa Film Festival.

Louie spoke at the TED 2011 conference in Long Beach, CA and has been a regular presenter at the annual Bioneers Conference in San Francisco. Currently, Louie is in production with National Geographic to produce Hidden Worlds, a 3D Imax film.

event video by: http://repertoireproductions.com/

                                                                   

Enjoy a few of the still shots.

Many thanks to Annie for sending me this!